Comments 6 Aside

OK, Apologies first methinks

Yes, I am a dreadful blogger, I haven’t blogged about Bertie since November last year! Scandalous! What a bad bad blogger I am.

Lets do a catch up.

We had our first Christmas and our first Easter,which involved lots of presents and fuss over Bertie, and Mummy eating his chocolate Easter Eggs as he’s far too young to indulge! You gotta help the little ones.

We have had three episodes of bronchiolitis, two quite serious, one ride in an ambulance (a first for me) and a week long stay in hospital getting Bertie stabilised again. That coupled with over-exposure to the quite dreadful cafeteria food and the poor sick people of Dorset being subjected to mummy sans makeup, it was a bad January and February all round.

We have had a bad rash develop over Bertie’s face, and as yet do not know what the cause is, although its looking likely to be something he’s touched not what he’s eaten.

We have cut our first two front teeth and boy have we known about that!

We have had appointments to see the ENT Consultant a few times now since November regarding Bertie’s vocal chords, and the verdict is that the left chord has remained paralysed. However the right chord is overcompensating very nicely, and whilst she thinks he may have quite a husky voice,  which none of us are overly concerned about as I think it could be a winner with the girlies when he’s like 30 and starts to date nice girls only, we do need to stay vigilant regarding chest infections, as the vocal chord lays open it can mean easier access for food and liquid to fly down into his lungs and cause problems, so we are on a heightened state of alert for any sort of chest infections. ( Man down as I write, lets hope its not a bad bout)

Bertie does struggle to drink water as its thinner than milk and he chokes and splutters lots, so following a visit to the dietician she has prescribed us something to add to the milk to thicken it so he can drink it without struggling.

Bertie has been somewhat slower than most hitting his milestones, but then we must remember he was three months premature, I’m not expecting him to sit his GCSE’S right now.

We had a six month check up with Bertie’s consultant some time ago, and they were concerned that Bertie wasnt using his left hand and that his legs were quite floppy. He hadn’t rolled over and he hated being on his tummy. They mentioned Cerebral palsy, and in truth it hit me for six. I don’t know why really, given everything we have gone through, but I soon got over myself and remembered the deal I made with God in the early hours when I was lying in that hospital bed, praying I didn’t lose my babies. I just wanted them to live and I stand by that, I never got specific on what career they were to forge themselves or anything like that, because I didn’t care, i just wanted them to be alive, and I would take care of them and love them regardless.

So we now see a physiotherapist every three weeks who monitors Bertie, and gives us exercises homework.

Bertie’s Daddy think he’s putting it all on,and Im slightly inclined to agree, as rumour has it there is a rogue gene on my side of the family that has a tendency for the old theatricals, so I think a little bit of the amateur dramatics are at play here, with Bertie giving a rather rousing performance to his audience just for kicks.

He is rolling over now, he’s happy on his tummy although not crawling (far too much hard work darling) and he is able to sit up but not quite unaided yet. Oh, and he’s using that left hand they were concerned about, ALOT!

And so, we are nearly at his first birthday. I don’t quite know where the last year has gone, at times I don’t know how we have got through it.

I feel nervous as although its the happiest day of my life, its also one of the saddest as my darling daughter is not here to celebrate with us as a family, like it should be.

Rest assured she is always remembered, I am having a birthday cake made out of flowers for her grave, and a few girly pink balloons as its her day too after all.

Her headstone is ready, it has been for a while. But every time I sit down to write her epitaph, her final words to mark her footprint in this world, I get rather upset and just can’t seem to finish it. Maybe its a closure thing…

So, with a big smile I will carry on.

Here’s to the next twelve months and all they bring

Bertie, I love you so very much and I am so proud of you. You are quite simply my world.

Love Olive xx


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